With all the problems with Invasive Exotic Animals in Florida, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has proposed to test a solution in the Florida Keys. The test involves introducing a genetically altered version of the bird flu that would infect any non-vaccinated wildlife and result in sterility. The virus will be viable for approximately two weeks after which it will genetically self destruct. The resulting sterility would allow the current populations of these exotics to live out their natural lives and die a peaceful natural death, resulting in a complete elimination within each species lifespan.
Peta has tentatively approved this solution as animal friendly and Governor Bush is expected to sign off on the plan today.The first step in the plan will be to inoculate all native wildlife, including people, against this virus, named Fruitless Sloof by State Representative Sorenson, is expected to take 4 months and is hoped to be completed by Labor Day September 4, 2006 when the Fruitless Sloof virus will be sprayed over the entire island chain by the Mosquito Control planes. This timing was chosen since there are few visitors to the Florida Keys during the Month of September due to it being the height of Hurricane season and Labor Day the traditional end of the summer vacation season.
There will also be a temporary quarantine on anyone entering the Keys during this period. On a related subject, this quarantine period may have prompted the Conch Republic to plan a coup to take over the Florida Keys and finalize there 13 year old secession from the U.S. An internal memo reveals the plans reasoning that they will have announced they will again secede from the U.S. on September 4, 2006.